Over 10 years ago I married the person who I thought was my soul mate and one true love. It was a whirlwind of feelings and emotions and I got reeled in before I even knew it. There were definite signs at the beginning but I was 19 and head over heels in love with this man. This whirlwind didn't last long. Before I knew it, I found myself in a toxic marriage with verbal and emotional abuse. Along with the abuse there was a lot of lies and drug addictions that made everything worse. What was I supposed to do? I had made a commitment before God, our family, and our friends to love this man through better or worse, it just happened to be "worse" a whole lot more than it was "better". I will share details as we go along this journey of the trenches of our marriage but what this journey is really about is choosing to stay committed but also finding myself again.
When a person is mentally, verbally, and emotionally abused every day for years, they will break down. Over the years I have completely lost myself. You know when your filling out a bio or an introduce yourself post and you are supposed to write about YOU? Well, I can't. My introductions are generally the standard mom, wife, business owner. I have lost what makes me, ME. This journey I am hoping to help other women who choose to stay but also to find myself again.
My goals for this website/blog are to bring encouragement, tips, accountability, and fellowship to other women choosing to stay in marriages that society thinks they shouldn't.
I make the choice every moment of every day to stay but that does not mean that choice may not change one day. I hope it doesn't but this lifestyle is hard and I make no concrete claims on the future.
Disclaimer: If you are in danger or being physically abused FIND HELP! No one should put themselves or keep themselves in a dangerous situation.
- J
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